There it is... Grandma's house.
What wonders await me today?
Fresh-baked cookies?
Story time?
A sweater with love in every stitch?
Aw, what am I waiting for?
Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!
SpongeBob!
Hi, Grandma!
Come in and sit for a while.
Have a cookie, SpongeBob.
Grandma, you make the best cookies
in the deep blue sea.
Oh, yeah...
( munches )
( gulps )
Grandma's cookies...
Now, who wants to lick the spoon?
Oh! Me, me, me!
...And then we drove all the way home
with all the windows down in the freezing cold.
Tell me another story about when I was a baby.
( cuckoo clock chimes three times )
( gasps ) 3:00?!
I'm going to be late for work!
Hop in my car. I'll drop you off.
Thanks, Grandma!
SpongeBob... you forgot your kissy-kissy!
I sure did.
( kisses )
Bye, Grandma! Thanks for the ride!
Thank you, Squidward.
( SpongeBob whistling, others snickering )
Oh, brother...
( whistling casually )
Isn't this great?
Everybody's in a good mood today.
I love bursting your bubble, SpongeBob.
They're laughing at you, not with you.
Did I do something funny?
Your forehead.
My forehead is funny?
Hey, grandma's boy!
Kissy-kissy-kissy!
( all laughing )
No! You're wrong!
There... there's nothing wrong
with getting kisses from your grandma!
No... especially if you're a big baby who wears diapers!
( all laugh )
And, and sucks his thumb
and plays with dolls
and, um, wears pajamas with feet in them
and carries his, um, uh, blanky around, and, uh...
OTHERS: All right already!
Cheer up, SpongeBob.
I know someone who still likes you.
Really? You do, Squidward?
Yeah... your grandma!
( all laughing )
( laughter continues )
( all laughing )
( grunting )
( all laughing )
Stop it...!
I have been publicly humiliated for the last time!
( crying )
PATRICK: I'm sorry that happened to you, SpongeBob.
Me, too.
You're the most adult person l know.
Thanks, Patrick.
You know how grandmas are.
They love babies.
You just can't act like a baby around her.
You're right, Patrick.
Have I ever not been right?
( sizzling )
( honking )
( wolf-whistle )
You're a man now, SpongeBob
and it's time you started acting like one.
Yeah!
Oh... but I'm not sure l know how.
Allow me to demonstrate.
First, puff out your chest.
Now say "tax exemption."
Tax exemption!
Now you must acquire a taste for free-form jazz.
( trumpet plays fast jazz riff )
Okay, SpongeBob, you're ready!
This is it.
What are you going to tell Grandma?
I'm a grownup.
No ifs, ands or buts about it.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
And then you get behind her and I'll push.
Patrick, we didn't say that.
Oh, yeah, right.
All we need now
is the icing on the maturity cake.
l've been growing these babies for years.
BOTH: Sideburns...
Oh, hello, SpongeBob.
What a nice surprise.
Come here, give your granny her kissy-kissy.
Mmm...
( kisses )
Sorry, Grandmother, but the kissing has to stop.
Tell her like it is, SpongeBob.
No more baby stuff.
He is right, Grandmother.
Kisses are for babies, which I am no longer.
I have grown up.
It is nature's way.
Oh... you are absolutely right.
I am?
I mean, of course I am.
You will definitely not be treated like a baby
around here ever again.
I am glad you see it my way, Grandmother.
GRANDMA: Well, I'm glad that's settled.
But what am I going to do
with all these fresh-baked cookies?
( chuckles ) Sorry, Grandmother.
We adults don't partake in the consumption of sweets.
Right, Pat...
rick?
Keep 'em coming, Granny!
( slurping )
So much for no more baby stuff.
And don't forget the cookie-eating hat!
( laughs )
( both laughing )
Hey!
That's my cookie-eating hat!
Uh... I mean, it was when I was a baby!
Grr...
Well, look who's here.
It's my big old adult grandson.
Grandmother, I need to have a mature conversation
with Mr. Patrick.
Patrick! What are you doing?!
Cookies! Warm milk!
A bib!
Is that a kissy mark on your forehead?
We are supposed to be adults!
Uh-uh-uh.
No roughhousing with a full tummy.
( laughing )
Who's the baby?
I'm the baby, I'm the baby, I'm the baby!
( clears throat )
Being grownup is boring!
I love being a baby.
Besides, I don't get jazz.
Oh, poor Patrick.
I almost feel sorry for you.
Trapped in the awkward phase of diaper days.
Never to know the rich rewards of being a grownup.
Here's a fresh batch of cookies.
All right!
( munching )
Rewards, huh?
Well, yeah, there's...
( munching )
Let's see, we, uh...
we went over the jazz.
( munching )
Oh, Grandma, I'm full.
More cookies.
( vacuum cleaner running )
( whistling )
It appears to be my lunch hour.
Grownups have to eat, too.
I guess this will have to do.
GRANDMA: Oh, you don't want this baby food.
How about a big piece of steamed coral?
Oh, yeah, uh... great.
( crunching )
Nutritious!
GRANDMA: Story time!
Oh, boy! Story time, story time, story time!
Story time?
You'll enjoy this, Patrick.
It's a wonderful story about a magical sea leprechaun.
Oh, SpongeBob, you wouldn't be interested in this baby book.
Here's the technical manual on Routine Active Maintenance.
Oh, uh, great.
Yeah... fascinating.
No pictures, just the way l like it.
( munching )
( crunch )
Ohh! My wittle finger!
Hold still, hold still.
( kisses )
All better?
PATRICK: Sorta...
This finger hurts a little bit, too.
( Grandma kisses )
How about I give you a present?
Oh, boy, I hope it's cookies!
All right!
Another hat!
No, Patrick, it's a sweater.
Huh?
With love in every stitch.
No...
Don't I get a present, Grandma?
Oh, I almost forgot.
Here's some office supplies.
I didn't wrap them.
I knew you wouldn't mind.
( clock chimes three times )
Uh-oh, 3:00.
Time for adults to go to work.
Bye-bye, SpongeBob.
I'll bet you would fancy a nap, huh, Patrick?
( Patrick yawns )
GRANDMA: You're still here, SpongeBob?
Uh... I don't have to leave yet.
I... can be late for work.
No, no, no. That wouldn't be the adult thing to do.
All right, uh, I guess I'll be going.
I've, uh, got a lot of adult-type business
to take care of, so, uh...
I'll see you later.
Okay. Thanks for stopping by, SpongeBob.
Yup, that is it.
Here I go.
Come again if you get the chance.
Out into the cold, grownup world...
alone... without a sweater.
Toodle-oo.
I don't know when I'll be back.
I know how busy you are.
So, uh... that's it.
Shh... he's asleep.
So... long...
I don't want to grow up!
I want cookies!
And milky!
l want a sweater with love in the stitches!
I want to wear didies!
I want to ride in my wagon!
I want to cuddle-wuddle with Mr. Stuffykins!
I want to rocky-rock on my seahorsey!
And I want kissy-kissy on my boo-boo!
( crying )
( continues )
( wailing )
( continues )
( ratcheting like lawn sprinkler )
Take it easy, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob...
SpongeBob!
( crying and panting )
You don't have to be a baby
to get Old Grandma's love.
( sniffles )
I don't?
Of course not.
No matter how grown up you get
you will always be my Little Baby Boo.
( kisses )
And remember, you can kiss your Grandma
and still be an adult.
Here you go.
Thanks, Grandma.
( munching and sighing )
Uh, Grandma, could you not mention this
to the guys down at The Krusty Krab?
No problem.
( squeak )
( Squidward snickers )
( all laughing )